Clean online dating jokes

A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.1. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" ' 20.Catfishing isn’t funny when it happens to you, but it is funny when people make jokes about it on the web.One hilarious comic shows an unimpressed woman opening the door to a short, overweight, and balding date.You show up to a first date expecting a beautiful new companion and instead find your worst nightmare.

The study was carried out after a panel of eight comic critics voted the holiday joke by Tim Vine (brother of TV presenter Jeremy Vine) the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. 'The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. 'A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. 'I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits? The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. ' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.Another online dater says she wants to quickly meet dates offline “to lower the odds of me being turned off by your shoddy grammar and punctuation.” Smart. Have you lived in a box (but not a Tardis) for the past decade?Dating sites don’t always attract the intellectual elite, so nerdy memes about online dating are really amusing to grammar sticklers, like me, who weep for the literary skills of their peers. OK, long time-wimey story short, the Doctor is contacted by a young woman named Oswin who says she crash-landed and has been under Dalek siege for months, making souffles to pass the time. She was killed, and all that’s left of her consciousness is trapped inside a Dalek.Jokes can be great openers for online daters with a sense of humor.At least it catches attention more than the overused “Hey, what’s up?

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